#i can't see myself going on after it's actually over

[sahisan]

smth about chuuya coming in his pants after being sex deprived for weeks/months is just.... ugh. nsfw obv. fem reader probs? pm member reader. kinda pathetic chuu but we love him for that. touch deprived chuu?

chuuya is a busy man. it's public knowledge—he actually manages to run the port mafia's jewelry department just perfectly starting from the age of 16 and do splendidly on solo missions, along with carrying out orders from the boss and giving orders of his own.

both of you being busy means you don't really get to see each other often, especially if you both work in the mafia. overseas missions that sometimes take more than several months to complete, nights spent in the headquarters with headaches because of the constantly incoming paperwork etcetera etcetera.

it's a lot. and it's a lot more when chuuya actually needs you. he wants so much to feel something, be it your mouth or you clenching down on him or just your hand getting him off and fuck, does he imagine it being your hand when he jerks himself off once in a while when it gets really impossible.

so once the two of you finally have some time off that you can spend at home—usually he does have a day or two off after particularly hard or long missions, just to get over the jet lag and get all the necessary paperwork prepared—chuuya doesn't necessarily pounce on you immediately after closing the front door, no. he's tired and you're tired no matter the need going through him in these moments.

he gets you both some fancy take-out, soaks his aching muscles in the bath for some time, maybe even sets up a movie or something like that on the tv so that you two can snuggle up against each other on the sofa under some blankets, and it's really not long before you're on top of him and he looks at you with this already needy and basically pleading look which screams "i missed you so much i can't hold myself back anymore please just do anything" and "please do whatever you want with me" when you just got your hands on him, your core sitting right on top of the tightness in his pants.

and it's so fucking humiliating to chuuya too, because, god, he can handle himself perfectly well without sex and he knows it, but once you're near him after some weeks/months away he's already just so painfully hard without even thinking much.

it's even worse when he ends up coming in his pants from barely a few deep kisses and grinding against you. he tries to resist it, tries grabbing onto your forearm and squeezing the hell out of a handful of your ass with another hand, but it's just inevitable when he's been so deprived of you and starved for even smallest bits of touch—not even sex, touch. chuuya swears he sees white behind his closed eyelids as he comes, and he full on moans into your mouth once he feels that his underwear is all sticky, and his breathing refuses to get back to normal for a good few minutes along with his racing heart.

he ends up laughing breathlessly once the kiss is broken, throwing his head back with his chest still rising and falling rather quickly, mumbling something about feeling like a goddamn teenager that just hit puberty and could come in his pants just from some grinding.

he's also very sensitive after his first orgasm, but that's for you to find out only once you grind down on him one more time after a few moments, kind of experimentally, and hear chuuya whine and shudder with his breath hitching and his hand coming to just plant your hips down in one place and hold them there. he already embarrassed himself enough.

or did he?

[doctorho]

thinking about viktor with a chronically ill reader. you know? we see the vision, right?

it just works.

the thing with chronic pain, illnesses, disabilities, all of that - is that you can't always see them. sometimes you can, sure, you can see the mobility aids and the not-standing-up-for-too-long and the bruising from blood draws and sometimes you can see the compression garments, the pills and inhalers and the i'm fine, i just need a moment-

but most people just don't pay attention to that. or if they do, they don't put the pieces together fast enough to figure out what's really going on under the surface. viktor does, though; he's been there, and most of the time he's way beyond hiding it. or, well, he's way beyond hiding some of it.

walking with a cane was like carrying a neon sign that said yes there is something different here. yes i can't walk the way you can. no it's not going to get better. that last part wasn't directly evident just from him using a cane, sure, but with the way his cane looked, it should've been pretty clear. He had used one practically forever and it had evolved with him, he'd made it as comfortable to use as it could be, had even made it match his uniform.

so yeah. viktor knew what it was like. he'd been the disabled kid forever, even if some of the others were never going to say it out loud. that was just a thing about him, and he knew how hard it could be to navigate something like that in an academic environment. it was hard to admit you couldn't do something, that you had to sit down, that you needed a moment. that sometimes your body was just falling apart for no particular reason and it was just another tuesday.

sometimes it was easier to sit with the pain than take medication in the middle of a meeting, knowing that someone would make a bigger deal out of it than it had to be, even if it was just raising their eyebrows meaningfully. they'd think about you differently afterwards.

he could see you push through it, and he didn't blame you, really, he did that himself, too, but - he didn't want you to hurt yourself. you hadn't been in the lab as long as he had, so he could understand you being a little cautious with how you acted and what you told people, but he didn't want you to feel like you had to put on a show for him. he was, after all, walking around with the equivalent of a light-up sign of i'm disabled, too, and he liked to think of himself as someone who wouldn't come off as judgemental about stuff like that. other stuff, sure, stupid stuff, but not that.

so when he sees you dealing with the telltale signs of being in pain, he conveniently sends jayce and the others to pick up some parts that would take a while to collect and that they wouldn't actually need until the next day. but better prepared, right? what's the harm.

and then he comes to sit next to you and sighs deeply. leans back. relaxes to the best of his abilities. asks if you're alright, and sounds like he already knows the answer.

you sigh too, shift your position, and answer with it's fine. and viktor recognizes the strain in your voice, in your posture, and he knows there's a key difference between this and i'm fine, but he'll take it. it's not what he'd like, but he'll take it.

he leans over to dig around his belongings, and then offers you a bag of candied almonds.

"if you're going to take pain killers, it's better if you eat something first," he says, and you just stare at him. "i assume you haven't taken anything yet. nothing strong enough, at least," he continues, casually, and you take a deep breath and accept the almonds.

he smiles. continues like this is totally normal. "jayce made me start carrying around some food so i could do that. for myself, i mean. but it doesn't hurt to have some snacks around either way, i suppose."

he knows he's skirting around the real topic of the conversation, but he also knows that sometimes people get uncomfortable around his bluntness, and you hadn't exactly told him you were in pain, so he'd understand it if you were a little weirded out. after all, most people didn't notice this stuff. but you haven't run away from him, and you're eating, and then you're digging around your own bag to take your medication, so he'll count this as a win.

thanks, you exhale, handing back the almonds, and he takes a handful of them himself.

"i'm fine, really," you continue, not really looking at him, "it's just hard sometimes."

he nods. it was - even if he didn't know the specifics, he knew that it was true. especially since you had been hiding it from the others. and with something like that, something the others couldn't see, the invisible step to let them see it would grow bigger and bigger with time, when they expected you to be able to do everything they did without a second thought.

he also knows you didn't mean fine in the dictionary definition sense of the word, but more in the this is normal and you don't need to worry -sense. and that's fine. he was used to functioning on different parameters than most people, so this version of fine was good enough.

my body just isn't always very reliable, you explain with a sigh, and that he knows better than well.

he hmms in answer and nods. he knows.

you exhale a small laugh at that.

and he's glad you're relaxing, wants you to be as comfortable here as possible.

"these people are alright," he says casually, "as far as healthy people go."

viktor smiles a little.

another win for him.

and then he sits with you, talking and not talking and enjoying the quiet comfort if it all. and then he makes up some excuse so you don't have to keep working yet. he was well aware what it was like trying to work through the pain, waiting for the medication to kick in, and he wouldn't exactly recommend it. besides, as a rule, you were more likely to make mistakes if you were thinking through a layer of pain, and that was just plain bad planning. it made much more sense to just take a break and continue when you felt better. in fact, he was in dire need of a caramel latte and a pastry right now, do you want anything?

and after that it just... sort of falls into place. you're more relaxed around him. and the others, too, but he's the only one that really gets it. doesn’t make a whole thing out of it when you need to sit down for a moment or take a break while your pain killers kick in. he's just there.

he knows what it's like, and that feels like an invisble curtain lifted from between you and him, and it's just easy. you don't have to pretend you're doing better than you actually are and he doesn’t hide it when he's in pain, either.

most people don't see it, but there's a mutual understanding there; yeah, sometimes life sucks and sometimes you're in pain and no it's not fair that sometimes your body is falling apart and life just keeps going. you can't do all the things you want to do but you still have to show up for the other life-stuff and if you took a day off every time you felt bad you would never get anything done and it just never stops.

but sometimes there's someone who'll sit through it with you without judgement. offer a warm drink and a snack and some understanding.

[dilf-docs]

X Si Volvemos

ex older bf!logan x younger fem!reader

summary: there are many things you and logan disagree in; but not when it comes to things in bed.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (phew), smut, ex!logan, exes to ????, p in v, creampie, reader's in her early to middle twenties so her frontal lobe hasn't developed yet; don't expect any reasonable thinking on her side, logan is on his middle to late 40s, angst (duh), this happens in an AU where mutants don't exist bc i don't wanna complicate myself with timelines lol hence time isn't really important but it's contemporary, the vibes i bring to the function are more sad than horny and i'm sorry, toxic too! may build a series around it?

word count: 1,925 words

side note: the incredible @bpmiranda's got me with a very bad case of ex!logan fever :( plus after listening to karol G's album mañana será bonito and seeing i may or may not be obssesed with romeo santos, i got the song in the title on loop: as you can see, it's all very fitting ++ don't forget to check out her stories, they're so good istg!!!!

You shouldn't call.

"Logan" you speak. His name burns in the tip of your tongue, like a secret you're not supposed to tell.

He shouldn't answer.

It's quiet at first on the other line, until a rough voice says I'm here, appearing to be distant, but who is he trying to fool? As soon as he saw the number pop on the screen, his fingers moved with a learned urgency.

You shouldn't keep calling.

"I need you" three words to cover those you actually mean; hanging in the spaces between the silence.

I miss you. I love you.

Your hear a heavy sigh on the other end.

He shouldn't keep answering.

"Princess..." Logan pleads, "don't do this"

You know better than that, he wants to say, but keeps his mouth shut. Just to hear your voice, just to-

"Please, Lo" you whine out. Logan grabs his jeans with force, the fabric strained under his white-knuckled grip. It takes him a lot not to run to you right there and now.

"Don't" but his voice cracks as much as his resistance.

"I've got the house" you whisper the prayer; a routine so sacred none of you seem to break it, "just for us"

"Y/n" even saying your name is painful; like the most addicting and damaging drug to ever exist, "stop"

Logan loved your stubborn heart, but there are times where he wishes you weren't like this.

"I'm sorry" and then he hangs up.

I'm sorry for not being who you needed. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I keep on coming back after I said I would leave you alone. I'm sorry I can't keep my promises.

You feel it around your neck―bruises in the vocals your voice has failed to scream; it chokes you with rage.

"Are you stupid?" you ask yourself in the mirror.

What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love him more than you love you?

You dial again, but this time, it's a girl who picks up.

"Yeah?"

"Hi. Wanna go out?"

Logan feels so out of place, but this used to be your favorite bar, and he's desperate for a drink.

Listening to your voice has always made him weak, but after you broke up, it drives him crazy.

He empties another glass, feeling pathetic. This is how bad it's gotten: you've got him scouring the places you used to go, chasing your ghost, trying to get a glimpse of your silhouette or a whiff of the phantom of your scent, the lavender haunting him; getting under his skin.

A song beggins playing, and it's the same vinyl set from two years ago. The night he met you: a pretty young thing so out of place in an old bar like that, playing hard to get, only to end the night moaning over him, fogging his car's windows, saying his name in a way no one else had before. He still remembers the way your legs trembled but he held you, beads of sweat confusing themselves with the glitter on your skin. Logan doesn't know what that is, but he's marveled, so in awe of you, everything of you: young, new, exciting.

But every new thing wears out, and the gap he swore wouldn't matter came crashing in years that built a distance between him and you.

So he did what he did best: ruin it. Deny the feelings bubbling inside; let them consume his reasoning, pushing you like he had done with everyone who cared about him before.

When he broke your heart, he took a part with him. So you keep coming back, looking for it; trying to piece yourself together. And he let's you: because God knows you have a part of himself too.

He's so drunk he probably imagines the hint of lavender in the whiskey tinted air. He's so desperate to see you again, he's seeing your face among the crowd. He's definitely gone insane: hearing that laugh he misses every day.

"Y/n..."

The music pauses: all you can hear is your name being said in that way like it belongs to him.

"...Logan"

He walks in autopilot over to the table you and a group of girls are sitting. They're all beautiful―beautiful people attract beautiful people, but he's only got eyes for you.

"What are you doing here?"

He raises a glass he didn't know he was carrying, "having a drink".

Your lips purse, and Logan doesn't know if it's because you're laughing at him or sad.

"I see" but you divert your gaze, looking at your shirt's neck. The outfit you chose: a black dress that pushes your tits on top. They are on display, and Logan feels played by you―his eyes trained on the strained fabric, tongue watering like it did when he would lick your sensitive nipples.

"I see too" he says in automatic, and one of your friends laughs. He looks away, thanking the low lights, or you'd see the red embarrassment on his face.

You stand up and walk over to him, and your friends sense it's time to leave the two of you alone.

"Why did you hang up?" you throw the question so casually; the nerve you have.

"What do you mean?" it's the only thing that comes to his mind. Very stupid, indeed.

You scoff, "delete my number, then"

"You keep on calling" he bites back.

"And you keep answering"

You never shut up. He hates that.

"I may have to stop"

You get closer, way too closer. So much, your hot breathe clouds his judgment.

"Try to" you dare.

And he tries, he really tries. But not today.

Not today when he takes you home, finally looking complete with you in it again. You had moved out after your last discussion, saying you'll never be back.

"You haven't changed a thing" you murmur in between kisses, and he can sense a bit of melodrama in his voice that makes him roll his eyes despite the dull ache on his chest.

He picks up your body swiftly, carrying you up to the bedroom.

"Why would I?" he asks, voice so low and small you almost miss it.

"Because you hate me" you avoid his eyes, even if your faces are too close, loosing all that corageous character of yours, "said you would get rid of it; of everything that reminded you of me"

But when he drops you softly on the matress, there's still that lamp you got him in the night table.

"I couldn't" he confesses.

I couldn't, he means, because I couldn't let you go.

But you both know it won't work out, something you knew right from the start: because toxic loves only fulfill basic needs. This isn't healthy, but he forgets it all as soon as you're moaning his name. Still, he promises himself he will say goodbye to you this time, even if it's inside of you.

"Shut up and kiss me, then" you're always pushing him around, making him do the things he desires to but doesn't want to do.

So he obliges, leaning in, the lavender so strong all over your sweet skin, poisoning his mouth on every kiss he leaves. He feels you squirm under him, goosebumps along your skin, prickling against his, so visible he can see and feel it even in the dim lit room.

"Take it" Logan doesn't look at you, but when he does, you feel him stare deep into your soul, "I know you want it"

He's sliding his dick inside you as soon as the sentence is over, the permission to take you and use you implicit. He robs a drawn-out groan out of you.

"So tight for me" he murmurs against your shoulder, sharp breaths and soft groans flooding your ears. His cock hits deep within you, hard thrust no one has ever been able to replicate, making you gasp for air, burying your face in the plush pillows now drenched in your sweat.

"You're so deep" you hiss, hot and overwhelmed, waves of pleasure hitting like water against cliffside rocks. "So big, Lo" you whine, dizzy at the way your pussy stretches for him.

"Just for you" he grunts out, and it's the truth. No matter how dark the room is or how many faces he avoids, he always looks into the eyes of the other women he fucks, his heart sinking when he can no longer pretend it's you, "fuck, squeeze a bit more".

Hearing his deep voice, rough when you fuck, always making you soak, coating his dick in your juices. You grip tight, as tight as the nails that hold onto his shoulders, making him moan at the pain.

"Like that, princess. Good girl" you moan at the praise, "I know you could take me, all of me"

He grunts and pants, holding you tighter as his cock pumps faster, in sync with your now closer to happening orgasm.

Before it, he slows down his thrusts, "where do you want me to cum, princess?"

He wants to, inside of you, but he can't do so, not when he promised he wouldn't ruin your life. But making you his, marking you as only his, makes his dick inside you twitch. Fuck, he's so balls deep inside you all he can think is filling you up silly.

"Inside me, Lo" like you read his thoughts, and it always amazes and scares him; how deep inside his mind you are. Never happened, not in his four decades of life. And that's part of the problem: he's closer to death than you are but it's only with you, young―blossoming with life, that he feels truly alive.

So how can he say no, when you plead and beg with those pretty doe eyes of yours? Who could imagine such a sweet thing to be so needy. He feels like you could ask for his heart, and he'd carved a whole in his body for you―bleeding out of love; dying with a smile.

"Such a greedy little thing, princess" he mocks, but his tone betrays him―dripping in adoration, "want me to fill you up all nice?"

A broken wail is what he takes as your answer, your mind in blank.

He finds himself letting go, way faster than he should; he just misses you and your needy dripping pussy that much. You can't hold back longer either, rush flowing through your veins, much more satisfying than the alcohol you had drank an hour ago.

Logan paints your insides with layers of his hot cum, mumbling a soft:

"Anything for my princess" he keeps going, panting as he's milked entirely dry, "anything you want, my girl"

Your vision is still spotty, mind fogged: you're sure that's the reason the hurt hasn't settled in your heart yet.

Then the silence comes, like it always does now.

"Y/n" you always love when he calls you by your name, but you hate the way he's saying it now. Like a goodbye.

"Don't-" you plead, begging he shuts up. But he pulls out, and says:

"It's for the best"

You don't want what's best. You want him.

"Can't believe you wore this dress" he traces the pattern of the tight clothes, damped in sweat, "you know it's my favorite. Why?"

You fail to supress a smile, even if it's tired and almost sad, "I knew you couldn't say no".

The truth is, you know many things: like how this is never going to stop until it's destroyed you both.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

S3 is obviously the jonelias season, as far as TMA goes, so much so they weren't allowed to have more than one scene per season afterwards cause the chemistry was burning our ears (at least that's what I assume is the very real and concrete and logical discussion that happened in the recording room), but that can't stop me from constantly remembering the crumbs we got afterwards and how insane they were

You know the thing where Peter mentions Elias a thousand times before Elias finally acknowledges that he even exists? That but Elias is constantly discussing Jon with other people in S4 but Jon does not mention him AT ALL until after the whole Feeding Reveal and - and i know i repeat myself, okay, I know i must be so annoying about it, but like, genuinely, seriously, this is what Jon does, with his alloted "talking about elias time": he says he'd hoped Elias would have advice on how not to feed from people's trauma. Jonathan Darling Sims, the man you ARE. I love you so much.

I love Jmart ok, I do, and S4 is their season, if anything, and EVEN SO, in the episode where Jon is running to save Martin, the very same Jon who had Martin's name on his lips the whole season (hell the whole podcast, but, yknow), the moment he is in the Panopticon there's a pause. "How?" he asks. "Suffice to say I called you" answers Elias (oh the mindlink of it all that never was, nnGH) and then "My, you have grown. A masterpiece, isn't it?" "Yeah, it is." (BEHOLDING KINK-) and theeen "That's your...body?" AND THEN the whole discussion where Elias is like "if you harm it it wouldn't go well" and jon is like "maybe it'd be worth it" and I just. JON IS HERE TO SAVE MARTIN; JON HAS BEEN THINKING ABOUT MARTIN THE WHOLE SEASON; and in this one scene, this one moment, Elias is the one who has to remind him of Martin.

Admitedly I recall S5 the least, but I'd be remissed not to mention that Martin wants to kill Elias soooo much more than Jon (the martinelias of it all is for another post). HOWEVER, Jon is angry, which is logical coz, you know, Elias did steal his voice and agency and put in on the path of monsterhood just so that he could do that and they could "end the world together" so like. Your Feelings Are Valid, Jonathan. NONETHELESS, The fact that Jon was thinking of Elias and being so angry against him that it triggered more of his power and made him see the Cabin for what it was??? That the Eye was like "hey darling, you're not home yet, come on" and that's what starts Jon and Martin's journey to the Panopticon? I'm sorry, but it's BASICALLY "Suffice to say I called you" all over again.

The fact that Jon cannot actually see Elias the whole time because "a pupil cannot see inside itself" or whatever the line is.

"Agonized bliss". "Then why did you heed the call?" "Because that's where I belong." (scratching at the walls at this point)

"G.O.O.D. L.U.C.K."

[lefaystrent]

Janus stumbles upon a tiny black kitten.

It's just sitting there, a tiny ball of adorable floof on the sidewalk edge. Janus glances around, as if someone will miraculously appear on the abandoned street to claim ownership. But he's in the mindscape, and honestly the street only goes in a square around Thomas's apartment building. There's only so much real estate you can fit into one man's head. At any rate, the other sides hardly venture out here. This kitten is totes fucked unless Janus does something.

"Oh I couldn't possibly," Janus demures at the narrator. "Besides, it's imaginary. I'm sure it'll be fine on its own."

"Mew," chirps the ball of floof and emerges out of its loafing position to waddle in Janus's direction.

Janus, lord of the lies and all things deception, evil mastermind extradonaire, feels his breath hitch.

Just look at the little paws.

"No!" Janus exclaims, shaking out of his cute-induced stupor. "The last pet I had was Sacagawea the hamster, and we all know what happened to her! Not that I care about teacup sized critters. Begone, little beast."

"Mew," another plaintive meow comes as the kitten reaches his ankles. It swats at him with its stubby claws, trying and failing to climb his pants leg.

"I am a gentleman of standards," Janus tells the cat seriously.

The puny kitten looks up at him imploringly with round-saucer like eyes.

Janus drops to the ground and coos, "Oh no, you're meeting all of my standards!"

The kitten starts up a punitive-engine of a purr as Janus scoops it up in his gloved hands. It chirps intermittently and Janus's ice-cold snake heart melts.

"I'm not keeping you," Janus promises fondly. "This doesn't go beyond a simple scratching. Do I make myself clear?"

"Meeew," the kitten squeaks and Janus nearly falls over himself to bring the kitten's face to his so he can rub their noses together.

The next day the sides are in the midst of filming a video with Thomas in his living room when Logan cuts himself off in the middle of citing his sources to say, "What was that noise?"

"Sorry, I ate burritos earlier," Remus apologizes, not appearing very apologetic.

"No, it sounded like–" Logan cuts himself off again as everyone hears the sound this time.

A muffled mewing.

All eyes fall on Janus in his corner. He stands there, seemingly unaffected, but upon closer inspection with eyeballs, one can see how stiff his posture is.

Patton peers closer with his balls of eyes. "Jan...is this that mewing trend all the kids are doing nowadays?"

"That is not what that means," Roman says, but he's mostly distracted with staring at Janus. "Wanna tell us something, Cat in the Hat?"

The deceitful side bristles. "I haven't the foggiest what you mean."

Janus's hat meows. More than that, there's something shuffling underneath.

Thomas's mouth is slightly agape as he asks, "Janus, did your hat just meow?"

"It did nothing of the sort."

"Kiddo, do you have a kitty cat under there or are you just happy to see us?"

"I– since when do you make jokes like that?"

"Jokes like what?" Patton blinks back.

Janus rolls his eyes and brushes imaginary lint off his imaginary shoulder. "Nevermind. Weren't we discussing Thomas's never-ending cycle of conundrums?"

"Yeeeah," Virgil drags the word out. "You can't just act like we all can't see your hat moving."

"Yes, and we all heard it meowing," Logan muses, ignoring Janus's automatic hissing of, "You heard nothing!"

"But why the hat?" Thomas ponders.

Logan nods, also curious, "Is this a coping mechanism after the loss of Sacagawea the hamster?"

"May she rest in peace, amen," Patton prays while Roman performs a Catholic cross over himself.

Thomas glances at all of them, "You guys know that I never actually owned a pet hamster, right?"

"Dude, too soon," Virgil chides him, and Thomas has the consideration to look abashed.

Janus crosses his arms to look cool. He doesn't. He keeps tipping his head this way and that to keep his hat from toppling over.

"This is a perfectly normal way for me to stand," Janus says.

Roman secretly slides Remus five bucks. Remus dives onto the floor and army crawls behind Janus. Somehow everyone but Janus sees it.

"By all means, do keep staring," Janus says, guarded and on edge and his rolls definitely tootsied. What.

Remus rises up behind him. Off comes the hat.

"Mew!"

"Oh my goodness, that's so precious!!" Patton squeals.

The kitten is belly flopped on top of Janus's head. It's so small that it almost gets lost in the hair, if not for the stark contrast against Janus's lighter color.

"Hey Virgil, it looks just like you!" Roman crows, earning himself a well deserved middle finger.

"Drat, you've uncovered my secret," Janus drones and gives Remus a withering look that promises they will exchange words later. Remus is too wrapped up in giving little chin scritches to the kitty to be bothered.

Thomas also inevitably succumbs to cuteness overload, but he does manage to ask why the heck Janus felt like he needed to keep the cat a secret.

"Because Thomas," Janus throws his arm out to make his cloak flare out. For the drama. Then he flourishes his hand towards the cat on his head. "You weren't ready to meet this new side of yourself, but I guess the cat is out of the bag."

"The cat was under a hat, to clarify."

"LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED YOU, LOGAN!"

"No one ever does, and yet that would solve over half of Thomas's problems."

"When you mean new side, does that mean...?" Thomas asks Janus, his voice filling with wonder. His eyes are getting that crazed glint in his eyes, like he's five seconds away from becoming a Florida Man meme. The background music ramps up into a crescendo at this new epiphany. Thomas knew there were more sides he hadn't met, but to think–!

"No, no, no," Logan says, waving his hands in an X motion. "This is a misunderstanding created from Janus's misleading statement. Don't do this–whatever it is you're doing. Stop it."

Virgil weighs in as well, "Hate to break it to you, but your most animal side is Janus."

"Does this mean Thomas is a furry?" Remus gasps.

"Yesss," Janus hisses out. Then he thinks about it. "I mean no. I mean– what?"

"So what's the baby's name?" Patton asks. He has come close too to join Remus in the giving of scratchies. A noble cause!

"It's a black cat, so why not Catman?" Roman offers. "I am the darkness. I am the night. I am...Catman!"

"Very original," Virgil praises, but it's just subtly sarcastic enough that Roman gives an heartfelt, "Thank you!"

"Can I pet?" Thomas asks, hand reaching out hopefully.

The sides grimace and wince.

"Oooh, yeah, about that..."

"Sorry, man."

"You can't actually..."

"Imaginary, remember?"

"Maybe if you think really hard and imagine touching fur..."

"Don't patronize him. Not with this."

"Yeah, kitty buisness is serious buisness."

"Are we ever going to return to the original topic?"

"Cats take priority. Don't you know that?"

"By what parameters? Any by whom?"

"It's like when a cat falls asleep in your lap. By law, you cannot disturb it. On pain of death."

"A bit overdramatic, but not wrong. It's an actual thing."

"Achoo!"

"Bless you."

"Thank you!"

"Patton, why are you petting a cat when you know you're allergic?"

"You would think that imaginary cats wouldn't agitate allergies."

"Thomas has a really vivid imagination."

"Why does everything innocent sound dirty coming out of your mouth?"

"Speaking of mouths and coming–"

Thomas, Patton, and Roman all shove their hands over their ears and scream, "LA LA LA!"

With everyone distracted (as part of Janus's master plan), Janus uses the moment of ensuing chaos to skeddadle away.

They never do learn the kitty's name, but they do eventually discover a horde of cats in Janus's room at some point, but that's another story.

[sparklingcurepeace]

First and foremost I want to start off by saying that I had planned to respond to this all on the day your reply was sent to me. My thoughts were already spiraling with what to say, both out of eagerness and fear, because I didn't expect you to ask me a question directly—So I hope I can clear up a little bit as to why I think anime appeals to such a broad audience, including myself.

Whether or not it will make sense to you or be satisfactory, I can not guarantee.

Hopefully this doesn't become crazy long or sound like a ramble, but I can't guarantee that either. 😅

I am by no means an expert on Japanese culture. Heck, I am no expert on western culture and I live in America. So when you say anime isn't really your thing, mainly because you don't understand the culture of it, I think that's actually pretty valid. Maybe to others who have read or will read this post, your words came off strong, but at least you were honest. Much of what you said, believe it or not, is something I think plenty of people can agree with to some extent; whether you're an anime fan or not.

I do think it's possible that we as people have the capability to understand or learn to understand things that aren't necessarily from our culture. After all the world is so vast and there is beauty in our differences, and we our often encouraged to embrace what sets us apart. Of course we, at our core, are made of the same stuff, so certain ideals, values and messages might shine through no matter where they come from. I think anime can address grander themes like love, death, faith, ect. and even point to truth, but it might either be one facet of the story or you have to dig a little deeper to find it. I've seen people attempt this, so i think it's possible. It just requires some work. At least that's how I see it.

Anime is a unique medium to navigate because it 100% is coming from a country that is different from my own in many ways, but I mean this more so in the small intricacies. Again, I am no expert, so what I say might be a bit inaccurate or plain wrong, but from what I've come know, anime is used as a means to counter things in Japanese society. An example of what I mean would be how many of the characters in anime, especially school students, have hair and eye colors that aren't natural. The designs in general can be pretty out there, sometimes looking wacky or just over the top, it could never be replicated in real life unless it's cosplay (probably). You're might be wondering why I mentioned that, since anything animated could do this as well, and you are right. It's not inherently special.

With anime though, I think it has more to do with the fact that in Japan, there is a tendency to keep things uniform. To keep things orderly, rather than drawing attention to yourself, dressing or acting in ways that are deemed inappropriate or out of the norm. Anime is not a replica of the day to day Japanese society, unless a particular show is crafted that way, so even some of the things going on in a story could even be seen as odd or uncommon or dare I assume, scandalous. Anime can be criticized by the very people responsible for it, so even when they KNOW the culture, they as the audience can react to it in many ways. I am sure someone else could explain this much better, perhaps understand it much better, because I typed all this and I am beginning to wonder if I lost you and I haven't even addressed some of your comments directly. I apologize.

All of that above is basically to say, YES, the culture is tricky and unless you're willing to try and see why things are the way they are when consuming something as popular as anime, I don't think you'll have the best experience. In my case, I will admit, I had a somewhat complicated relationship with anime. I still do but not for the same reasons as back then, when I was still a child and witnessing all this for the first time. I was familiar with shows such as Pokémon and (English) Yu-gi-oh! which are rather tame in comparison to...so many other anime out there. But I wasn't a fan, yet. I hadn't really dove into the anime pool, much less felt like exploring it, due to my upbringing and general reluctance to watch anything because the way anime looked was so different than what I was used to.

Until one day, finally, an uncle got me to watch a show that is generally geared towards children. I liked it, I liked the story and while the art wasn't as weird as it could have been, it took some getting used to Then he thought I could handle one that was for an older audience but not terribly grotesque or sexual or dark. It did have violence, although I think it was mostly justified given the subject matter. Shameless advertising, I think you might want to give this one a try, it's called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I think there's plenty of lessons to pull from it, it isn't purely made to entertain just because.

I'm getting off track, so let's try to get back to your grievances.

So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.

I think I and many other self proclaimed anime fans, got into it on the basis of the art style drawing us in. Yeah it was weird and new but it could also be fun and incredibly pretty. Also, there's real dedication and skill put into many anime I've seen, at least when you're looking at the scenery, food, and non-human related imagery. So if you're an art person or just like looking at things that are well made, that could certainly explain part of the reason why people watch anime, whether or not the designs make sense. I suppose that is also aesthetic choice as well.

So you could say, before we (The fans) understood anything about the culture, or why things were being done in the story, we just accepted it as different and went along with whatever was going on, for, entertainment and fascination. That includes things like the screaming, the humor, and even those strange speech patterns.

It definitely catches people by surprise. Even to this very day, while I am aware of these different things, I can still get annoyed or stunned by some of the anime antics. I think all the screaming has to do in part with anime being understood as a medium where you are expected to exaggerate and use excessive emotion to sell whatever you're going for. It doesn't have to be anything related to love, a battle or something super sad—That's just the acting. In comedies they can really go over the top, and that can be done as a way to sort of poke fun at anime as a whole. Then of course, if I went deeper, I might find that this ties back to ancient forms of storyteling and playacting. I can't say for certain if screaming was ALWAYS apart of how Japanese performed, however, I wouldn't be shocked by it. Same can be said about drama. Every culture has their own form of drama, each distinct in how they demonstrate it, and Japan is the same way. Their show of humor is probably a mix of doing things because its fiction , "anything goes in fiction" + certain tropes being tied once more to what they've gotten from their storytelling tradtions. Or maybe the tropes aren't even that old, they were just created first in japan and have been utilized since. Like when characters fall on their face and their legs stick up when somebody says something stupid.

As for dialogue, I can't quite figure it out myself. I assume the japanese speak more formally than your average person ? Although there is no way of actually knowing that. In anime especially, I notice they can speak in a way that just feels...weirdly poetic. Then you also have those weird breaks or pauses in sentences. Which does work if the situation calls for it, I think, but even I find myself saying something like "please just talk normal, you're doing too much 😭," every now and then. Also let me tell you, I think everyone at some point has COMPLAINED about anime taking multiple episodes to resolve an issue or reach a much needed discussion, especially when discussing romance anime. I've chopped it up to being for these reasons:

It heightens the drama and makes the audience anxious to see what happens. It's trapping you to stay for the rest of the show.

It's part of the plot, somehow. This scene can't happen until something else happens and that can drag, whether intentional or not.

I suppose you could say that there are situations in real life that would play out like this. A person who is shy or hates confrontation just keeps things to themselves, just doesn't bother to address the issue at hand and the more they leave it alone, the worse it becomes. Anime just makes a bigger hassel.

Are these all possible reasons? I doubt it. Still, I think they apply the most.

Now I'm going to merge what you said at the beginning and what you said near the middle.

Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?

You sure picked some hot button topics to ask about if I can dare say so. I call them hot button topics because whether you're a long time anime fan or short time fan or just not a fan at all, many of these things have been discussed before...usually in great detail lol. Especially the part about women, there's quite a few video essays and conversations surrounding these seemingly common yet unnecessary things. There's all the feminism and patriachy stuff and I am not dismissing it or saying it isn't important to consider, but some of that I just...don't think matters to some degree. If I were honest, a lof of those big cleavages and sexy stereotypes exist because the audience (mainly men) want it and like it, and it pertains to a fantasy. Same with the little girl looking characters that can be super old. I AM NOT SAYING IT'S A GOOD FANTASY. But it exists. Additonally, however, it comes down to art style and aesthetic. Anime can do whatever it wants, thus you can design the characters however, based on what's popular, based on what you (the creator) wants and likes. Or they are filling some sort of quota, you gotta have the comedic relief character, the moody character, the pretty girl, whatever. The feminine looking dude thing is its own archetype and has its own history, one I couldn't really explain because I am not well versed. But that too, is catering to someone out there.

In regards to how blushing is used...my dear, I think that is, once more, an art choice. Many people know anime by its cutesy big eyed designs. Usually, you'll find a character blushing too. Typically it is used to show embarassment, shame or excitment. It probably adds to that cutesy factor, as well as exaggerating that emotion being expressed. Then there are moments of crying, or just other occasions when blushes are used, and I gather that is done because in real life, people can get super worked up. They can get all hot and red in the face or they get so flustered their cheeks show it. Still, this is not wholly accurate and thus, it's just artistic choice to add blush for a specfic moment or just cause. The gasping...yeah I don't quite like that either. Or excessive violence or cursing.

Depending on WHAT the story is, I'd argue you might need that violence. Could be about war, could be about surviving from a great evil, essentially anything that involves fighting. But even I have to admit, it can go...overboard. Or feel like whoever was making that fight scene was having a little too much fun yk? If you have certain kinds of characters who are just rough and angry or have gone through something traumatic, this may result in a potty mouth. On average I am surrounded by adults and teens who just make a habit of swearing, or its just part of the vocabulary. Anime is no different it seems.

Just cutting in to say that, whoever recommended you watch Demon Slayer and Naruto or whatever else- they showed you the "mainstream" shows. Nothing inherently wrong with that but anime is filled with all sorts of shows and some can go outside the norm of what is popular. Maybe you were shown the wrong stuff or it wouldn't have mattered either way because it wouldn't have what you're seeking. Unfortunately.

You aren't wrong in saying some values that are perceivable in the animes you've seen might be ones that the West is adopting and trying to instill in us. I wish you had been a little more specific in what values you mean so I could have a better handling on whether I agree with you fully or not. Even so, I think I have an idea of what you're saying. Not everything I see in anime I agree with or think matters or should be something to encourage, and that isn't me trying to be disrespectful to the culture but it's true.

I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.

This is perhaps the hardest part of the replies because I know what I think and have come to know about this appeal young men have for anime and it isn't all...good. Neverthless I will try to be fair to them. In the first place, I think men have a tendancy to like most things with battles and cool powers and just general rough housing. So if anime has that, plus a story compelling enough to draw them in, understanding the culture doesn't matter so much as does watching the characters kick some butt on screen. That just sounds like watching something for entertainment, it just gets a rise out of you and I think that's what it usually is. I think the closet equavilant that comes to mind is superhero and action films. Is the average guy watching for a message or because it's exciting and bloody and there's a ton of bodies running around?

another thing...people like to see themselves in the characters. This happens me sometimes as well. Maybe whoever is on screen right then and there, is seen as relatable to the young man watching and he starts to imagine himself like the character or indentify with certain traits, certain situations. I am not saying that this is always good or even healthy, mind you, but it happens. And I think whoever is making the anime(s) is aware of that. This can be said for girls too but that is a different discussion.

Many men are watching anime for the eye candy too, that being, the female characters. I don't think I need to explain to you what can be done and thought about when characters are made to invoke sexual desires. It can be explicit or implicit but it's still there and that comes with its own issues. I'm not trying to sound like some kind of prude or judge, I've dealt with my fair share of strong feelings with characters, but I wouldn't call it a good thing. Much of what was said in this response to my ask, I've been convicted about because I know that deep down, not all of it is really doing anything for the audience, we're just here to have a good time with whatever is on screen. It can feel very shallow.

I could probably say more but i think this is enough. I hope this makes sense, I jumped around a lot, not sure if I answered every question the best I could. I wanted to try and provide context. This conversation hits home in some ways so that is also why this reply is long. My brain is fried though and this took forever to type, but just know, if you don't think you could ever like anime, that's fine. It an acquired taste. You might be better off away from it.

Hi, not to sound like a creep but I was trying to find this one reply to ask about the Chosen series because I remembered something and I wanted to see if you're the one who said it. But then I couldn't find it. Stumbled into this one post where you said your least favorite medium is anime and I'm quite curious about that now. I don't generally have an issue when people say they don't like anime, as a whole, but I try to understand why. Of course even if you just said "I just don't like it" then I could respect that too, since I can not push it.

I think it's like a language I don't speak. Even the English-dubbed versions. In anime, it's not made by people in my culture, for my culture. So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.

There's nothing wrong with that, per se. Like I said, it's just made for a different culture, one I'm not in. And that's fine. Could I learn it? Could I engross myself in it until I feel what the media is trying to make me feel and get what they're trying to say?

Yeah. I could.

But most often, it doesn't feel worth it. It doesn't feel like the anime I've seen is really trying to point to a significant truth or remind people of goodness and beauty, so much as it is pointless entertainment.

Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?

Not a fan.

I have seen one or two anime that clearly have a point. They're Studio Ghibli, though.

And again, I'm not saying anime's have no point in general. I'm saying I'd have to understand the culture to get the point, but the culture itself seems to be based around values that I don't find valuable. And a lot of those "values" if I'm reading them right are the ones our Western culture is starting to push down throats more and more, and I don't like those, either, so there you go.

I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.

Maybe you can?

[purpurussy]

.

[disdaidal]

I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

[jabronibaloney]

Many died directly from covid. Many had their addictions get worse, and died from that. Suicide definitely took a big chunk of us. Car wrecks have gone up as people's problems with alcohol and drugs have worsened. Long covid has killed many, or left them unable to work. Some were murdered at work for telling people to wear a mask. Homelessness is fucking skyrocketing, and it's hard to stay employed that way. Some have been deported. America still has the most people incarcerated, some are there. Some are immunocompromised and CAN'T go out amongst all the people who are fine with them dying. But don't worry, America, I'm sure they'll join the suicide category quickly enough. Maybe not as quickly as you'd like them to, though. (Even the left no longer cares about them, but will still emptily yammer on about solidarity, and the need for better health care, yadda, yadda, yadda) And then there's STILL the constant mass shootings.

Beyond those tragedies, some have retired. Some were able to make a living via sex work, or other forms of self employment. Some moved the hell out of America, because, holy shit, why wouldn't you?

But hey, "the pandemic is over", right?! No, we're just gonna keep letting the bodies pile up, and these problems keep getting worse because people can't stand the smell of their own breath inside a mask. Mouthwash exists! (And some still haven't figured out how masks properly work yet. Hint: the nostrils are connected to the lungs too, not just the mouth)

We're gonna keep letting all these things become more exacerbated because this is the stupidest & cruelest country in the galaxy.

[dreamlogic]

2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)

[i-appear-misssing]

I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop

[seaofreverie]

The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people

[seventh-district]

I'm probably far from the first person to say this, but you can't tell me that this song doesn't just scream Aventurine, c'mon.

[mewkwota]

Hello this is a brief tirade for myself regarding Netflixvania, so if you don’t want to hear anything negative about this adaptation then very sincerely, please move on and keep your peace.

I will not be holding back. And if you go in after the fact and take issue, this was your decision and I will not be responding to you.

--

Already from Season 2 I had this weird lingering suspicion that the writers have a thing for Alucard, like I’ve told a friend before that it felt like an Alucard-Only run. And sure, the guy is cool, everyone and their mothers love him I get it. But he doesn’t get that grand chance to shine until several hundreds of years later.

Perhaps it’s my own bias towards the Belmonts, but Trevor was done Dirty. Alucard gets all his cool tricks, and all Trevor got to do was pull out a sword after Drac got stabbed by ~You Guessed It~.

And assuming these leaks are true, as I’ve been trying to avoid them like the plague, my suspicions couldn’t be any more confirmed.

I am all for having your own takes or adaptations, but if you’re getting(?) permission from the source material themselves to make something that large of a scale and do it that poorly of justice... You should have stuck to fan fiction like the rest of us.

If you didn’t give that much of a shite for the Belmont Clan, hell if you really hate them that much, why didn’t you just go straight for Symphony of the Night since you wanna ride Alucard so badly. You could’ve already written Richter as such a horrible guy at that point, easy writing points for you.

I’ve actually been approached more than once with things relating to this adaptation by people knowing I love Castlevania, but don’t know that I dislike Netflixvania. That is on my fault for not being clear in order to avoid conflict, but how much clearer can I make this? I can’t look at it. It makes me want to vomit.

That Alucard, makes me want to vomit. Who are you?

I’ve given this show many chances. Like many. I PAID for the last two seasons since I normally don’t even use Netflix. But now I know that I really can’t trust them to do anyone right, let alone a Belmont.

So you can pry Juste from my cold, heartless hands.

And heaven forbid if I have to see that heinous picture of Richter again, I will need to knock myself out to forget about it entirely. I’m usually good at weaving my way around things but now I gotta get better (he was the only one I saw by accident, for better or worse).

I am just not ready for more people to write him all stupid-ugly. Again.

[coquelicoq]

can't tell if my neighbor and i are flirting right now. if we are, we're doing a pretty bad job of it. part of that is probably that i keep reading over what i'm writing and going oh no, that sounds flirty! delete.

[lynxgirlpaws]

>do nothing all day >finally start editing >hear my voice >massive self hatred god I fujcking love this